Sunday, October 30, 2011

I shoulda been a gaucho plus some fun facts

We'll call this my entry of random. I'll pull it all together for the next one.

I had Toby Keith's country song, I shoulda been a cowboy stuck in my head pretty much for an entire month. Every time I'd see a fence and I started rolling wire, it would pop right back in there. Sure I improvised the lyrics a bit to better suit my surroudings, but still there it was. The new version went something like this:

I should've been a gaucho
I should've learned to rope and ride
Wearing my beret and riding my pony on a puma hunt
Stealing the young girl's hearts
Bringing meat and wine
Singing those campfire songs
Oh I should've been a gaucho

I'll be the first to admit it's ridiculous, but I had no control! As soon as my gloved hand hit that wire, this damn song would start rolling in my mind. Just the chorus, over and over and over again. It was fine, it passed the time, and it was better than what my dear friend Annie was teaching Marie Pierre.  That aweful song, by Kelis, My Milkshake. Yes, it was HILARIOUS to watch MP sing the chorus in her very strong french accent, but still I think country was much more fitting to that enviroment. One of the nights when we had finished working and were in the casino eating dinner the Kelis song came up, and one of the interns tried to translate the words into Spanish for MP. It was the best\worst translation ever...the literal translation back to English was "my smoothie brings all the men to the garden." We all lost it, laughing so hard it brought tears to our eyes.

My sentiments are true though, part of me does feel like I shoudla been a gaucho. There are so many things that they do that just look awesome. Like hunting pumas and eating stupid amounts of meat and riding horses and wearing berets and cooking on a barrel and spending a lot of time in beautiful scenery, and generally being cool.

I also learned some fun vocab while I was in the backcountry. Things that I feel should be shared if you are ever lucky enough to find yourself in Patagonia.

Gaucho gourmet: Anything that can be cooked on a barrel. Will most likely contain the following ingredients, meat, rice, bread, tomato paste, aji, pumpkin (because that makes perfect sense to carry on a backpacking trip), carrots, canned peas and or canned mushrooms.
Guanaco it: Blazing your own trail while hiking, just like a Guanco. Proper use, "Hey Lilly, how do you propose we get over to that fence line. Should we take the trail or just guanaco it?"
Trailgating: Having someone hike too close behind you. May require you to stop unexpectedly so they crash into you. This can be extremely dangerous when carrying a rockbar.
Lannie Steamer: A warm beverage made with powdered milk, hot water, and a dollop of manjar.
Milk Dust: aka polbo de leche or powdered milk.
Spices: dirt, leaves, small insects that end up in your food or water...they just add a little flavor.
The Loo: a hole, dug into the ground for the purpose of defecation. Usually with a kick ass view of the mountains.
Asado: Lots and lots and lots of food. It centers around meat, sometimes various kinds of meat...and will leave you wanting nothing more than to nap afterwards.
Guacho mechanics: what happens when one kills a car battery by blasting the stereo all night long. It requires a lot of pushing of said truck up a hill to try to get it started...most likely will not work.

And some fun facts. These are just my guestimates at best. There is no way to back this data, so take it for what it is.

1. Number of showers I took in 1 month: 6
2. Kilometers of fences destroyed. 60-70
3. Number of Sopapillas consumed: 20 (yes, I'm ashamed to admit this)
4. Kilometers hiked on days off: 60
5. Most layers worn on core: 6 (tank top, tee shirt, wool long sleeve, long sleeve, fleece and raincoat)
6. Least layers worn on core: 1
7. Days I was able to practice yoga: 9
8. Classes taught to interns: 2
9. Nights I had to wake up in the middle of the night to pee: 7
10. Morells found: 4
11. Days with snow\hail: 3
12. Nights in front of a fire: 26
13. Blisters earned on feet: 5
14. Bruises earned on legs: 6
15. Number of times I was smacked in the face by rouge wire: too many

1 comment:

  1. A smattering of comments for a smattering of thoughts:

    A french-accented, spanish-translated Milkshake demands a YouTube video at some point.

    Gourds last a surprisingly long time as long as their skin isn't damaged.

    Wire is wily. Treat it like a snake and grab the head.

    Sopapillas are loaded with calories, which I'm sure you're plowing through. Om nom, nom.